BEST FRIENDS BECOMING LOVERS
GOOD OR BAD?
Some of us may have asked ourselves this question. Some people say “yes! Of course it’s good” but others just do not think so. Every day people fall for their best friends and they end up together forever in contrast to those who lost their best friends because of this.
We all know that the best relationships are grounded in and begin as friendships. Best friends are the two individuals that have a lot in common, share similar interests and is there for each other through thick and thin. I have always been told that boys and girls cannot be best friends because the feelings would eventually develop. Once these feelings develop, it is hard to suppress them. But if you take time to notice a little bit, you will see there is a distinct line separating the bonds of friendship and love.
So have you ever asked yourselves why people do not want to date their best friends? Here are some common reasons:
- You are afraid that after you two breaking up, the friendship will be damaged and ruined. This is the number one reason why best friends should not be anything more than just strictly best friends.
- There are a million fish in the sea and that trying something new, different is much more better than spending your time with the people you already know all about.
- Not physical attractive with each other. We all know that when it comes to love, sex is needed too. But some people just do not used to touching or even kissing their best friends because it is like messing around with their brothers/sisters.
- You do not have to care about what your other friends think about your best friend.
- You will never get angry or be jealous if you found you best friend are staring at other boys/girls.
- The thought of losing them never occurred in your heads cause you know that friendship itself just have the beginning but no end.
But, on the other hand, there are some people strongly approve this idea that best friends should become lovers. Let’s hear what they say:
- The level of understanding each other is extremely high.
- Your parents will love your mate especially if that is your best friend.
- You can always be yourselves around them. Even if you are look like crap they will still love you because you two have sticked together for a long time so trying to be beautiful is not really important.
- When there is nothing to say, you two share comfortable silences instead of starting angry or doubting each other like other couples.
- You two have many mutual friends so if he/she says “I’m going out with my friends”, you will feel comfortable cause her friends is yours too .
So, whether your love is your best friend or not, you should remember that a lover and a friend are two different people, even if it is the same person. We used to like each other a lot when we were friends, but falling for a friend asked for a lot more than just fun times, it requires responsibility, compromising for each other.
Some of you may struggle with the idea that you will wreck the friendship by doing that. Others are afraid of being turned down. You do fall in love with their best friends but not very sure if they feel the same way back. And then, when you go and tell them, that not only turns you into an idiot but also leave you with a broken heart if he/she says “No”. People always say “I promise we will stay friends no matter what the outcome is”. But we all know that things are not going to be that easy. We will find it very hard to forget all about the romance, the passionate and the sexual thing while you two were dating.
However, my personal opinion is that love is love, no matter if that is your best friend or not, cause love can come from someone that you never expected to fall in love with. So if that is what you really want: your best friend to be your lover, it’s ok, just go and tell them. I know that it is a big transition to go from a friend to a lover but if you are true friends, there is no need to be afraid, the friendship will survive even if the relationship does not. Yes, of course things get weird for awhile but you will go through. Strong friendship do.
But my best friend does not think so. She is debating on the whole ruin the friendship thing and is scared to take the chance. She do not think that she can handle the rejection and still be friends. She just do not want to mess up her friendship, which means more to her than anything ,for that.
Well, different people have different thoughts. What about you? Do you think going from friend to lover is a good option? Are you falling for a friend? Have you ever told her/him? I just want to tell you that no matter how the outc
ome is, you must not lose your friendship cause true friends are very hard to find, we cannot imagine how our lives would be without them.
Lê Xuân Phương
Member of Specialist Department in BELL club